Unveiling: The New Logo for “Queering Boundaries,” by Jessica Salgado. Now on Facebook and Twitter, too!
California-native, femme writer, theorist and feminist who likes pretty things. Bloodstream of ink, lyric heartbeat. I queer everything.
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Hello folks! My partner Jessica Salgado and I are starting a queer film project, and we need your help!
A little about us:
Jess is a young, queer, woman of color filmmaker who creates films that center around social justice and community. She is a senior in Digital Media and Film Production at the Art Institute of California – San Francisco and “Queering Boundaries” will be her senior project. I (Ashley) am a senior at Mills College in the Creative Writing program, with a double minor in Spanish and Queer Studies.
The film:
“Queering Boundaries” is a short documentary on “Queer”—how the term functions as an identity and politics. Our primary intended audience is the LGBT community, especially those who are not familiar with “queer” as an identity term. Our goal is to open up an inter-generational dialogue in the queer community and also support those who embrace this term and its multiplicity of possibilities. We will present a brief history of the term and its uses (gender, sexuality, politics, slurs versus empowerment), then show three to five queer-identified individuals and their lived experience.
How you can be involved:
We are looking for queer-identifying individuals (however you define it) to be involved with and support the project in different ways, whether that is agreeing to be interviewed, assisting with the actual filming, donating time and equipment, recommending reading, introducing us to people who would be interested in the project, or helping us bounce ideas around.
We want to listen to your experience and knowledge of queer history, theory, and community, and lived political experience. Interviewees will be given a list of the interview questions prior to the interview, and do not have to answer all of the questions if they make the individual uncomfortable. We may ask to follow some of the interviewees for a day to show a rounder picture of the individual and how being queer does or doesn’t affect other aspects of their lives.
And to fellow queer filmmakers: if this sounds like a project you’d like to be a part of creating, please drop us a line!
You can contact us via email at: QueeringBoundaries@gmail.com
Follow us on Twitter (@QueerThis) and Facebook (facebook.com/QueeringBoundaries) to keep updated on the project. We are just now setting up our social media platform, so there isn’t much yet, but there will be soon!
SinQueerly,
Ashley Redfield & Jessica SalgadoP.S. Please share this around!
Hey folks, Jess and I are jumpstarting her senior project! Please get involved however you can, even if it means just following “Queer Boundaries” on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook!
Thanks, we really appreciate your support :)
Love, Byrdie/Ashley.
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Men get to feel hornier because they’re socially supported in this. The whole of society is geared toward titillating men and discouraging female sexual desire. It’s inherent to the Nice Guy® complaint, where men are entitled to feel physical attraction, but a woman who wants more than “nice” is shallow. It’s evident in the way men and women dress, with women always mindful to wear stuff that makes them sexually attractive, whereas men have the opposite problem, and have to avoid being too sexualized lest they seem feminine. Naked women are draped over every inch of public space, and the internet is full of visually interesting porn for men, but our society barely can imagine what it would be like to try to attract a female eye. Men seem hornier in no small part because their sexuality is celebrated and codified. It’s easy for men to know right away how to be sexual, whereas women are still largely expected to figure it out for themselves—-and even that’s a recent invention, because pre-feminism, women were mostly just expected to do what men wanted.
But even with the small amount of freedom we have, it’s worth noting that a 30-year-old woman who admitted obliquely to having had non-procreative sex in Congress created a month long, nationwide scandal. Until that kind of pressure disappears completely, we can’t even begin to measure what the “natural”, unadulterated female sexuality would look like, and how it would compare to the celebrated and constantly titillated male sexuality.
Either way, stop blaming sex for misogyny. If all men wanted was women to fuck them more, the English language wouldn’t even have the word “slut” in it.
Amanda Marcotte, Misogyny isn’t caused by male horniness, on David Wong’s article 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women (via ellielamothe)
The last line!
(via feminishblog)
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➜Is the beauty myth good to men? It hurts them by teaching them how to avoid loving women. It prevents men from actually seeing women. It does not, contrary to its own professed ideology, stimulate and gratify sexual longing. In suggesting a vision in place of a woman, it has a numbing effect, reducing all senses but the visual, and impairing even that.Naomi Wolf (via adayinthelesbianlife)
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Rape is on the increase, reported and unreported, and rape is not aggressive sexuality, it is sexualized aggression. As Kalamu ya Salaam, a Black male writer points out, “As long as male domination exists, rape will exist. Only women revolting and men made conscious of their responsibility to fight sexism can collectively stop rape.via yukiesano➜
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➜I read you last post and was better able to understand the LGBTQA society. But I still haven't figured out what queer means. Is it all of the above? Is it unidentifiable? Is it "I haven't quite figured it out yet"? I guess it just bugs me because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with labeling my friend as queer (aka weird). Isn't there a more scientific name for it?
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I don’t care that you’re taking straight characters, characters who are assumed to be straight because of opposite sex relationships but it’s never stated, or just plain unknown characters and putting them in a same-sex or same-gender relationship. In fact, I generally like it. Fanfic is about putting your own interpretation on these characters, and I usually enjoy reading it (assuming it’s well-written).
That said, there’s this habit of authors where they totally ignoring any mention of sexual orientation in slash fic.(“Slash” here includes femslash, and there isn’t much of any other sexual orientation/gender identity group in fanfic at all.) Please, if you’re writing slash fic, don’t just ignore all previous relationships that a character has had that point to them not being exclusively homosexual. Don’t write one of those fics where it’s never even mentioned, even though one of the characters is totally surprised at falling for a character of the same gender. Don’t be write of those well-it’s-you-and-you’re-different-so-it’s-okay-but-this-doesn’t-make-me-not-straight fics. Don’t write a fic where a character suddenly turns gay after realizing the romance thing in order to suit your plot. The whole “never even suspected they weren’t straight until now” is quite frankly stupid and overdone. Don’t do it.
If you are going to write characters as queer, show consideration to the actual, real life people who are queer. Unless you are queer yourself, and sometimes even if you are, you’ve probably never noticed how many fics don’t even use the word “gay.” No character ever says, “I’m gay.” Even when it’s something that they should say, even when it’s something the author’s totally hinting at that.
Do you have any idea how frustrating that can be? This is something that is a huge part of a lot of people’s identities, and their struggles. This is something that we, as queer people, have to think about, because society doesn’t give us a choice. And do you have any idea how good and liberating and affirming it feels to be reading a fic and have a character actually come out and say who they are, that they’re not straight?
And another thing: there are sexual orientations besides homosexual. And a lot of the time, some other sexual orientation will fit what you’re doing with the character much better than calling them heterosexual OR homosexual. Try making your character bisexual, or pansexual, or asexual homoromantic! Because they exist. And don’t just think in your head that this character is gay or bi or heteroflexible, actually write it down. In dialogue or in internal musings, and you know what it’s a great way to add dimension and conflict to a character in your story!
Here’s another reason it bugs me: realizing and accepting your sexuality is hard, at least if you’re not straight. Having a character feel a type of desire that you go ahead and say they’ve never experienced before, but then not have them address those new feelings any further or try to figure themselves out, and just have them go along with it and be okay with the one person you’re slashing them with? Totally unrealistic. You want solid character development? Write out their struggle. Hell, mention their internal struggle, which is more than a lot of people bother to do. Or mention if it isn’t one, and why. Also a tip: yes, sexuality can change over time, and yes some people don’t discover their sexuality until well into adulthood. But one of the main characters thinking they are emphatically straight until their 30’s in every single fanfic? Stuff like what you’re writing happens in real life sometimes, it does. But frankly, I don’t give the vast majority of you enough credit to think that you’re trying to go for a genuine portrayal of a somewhat rare but real experience, partially because it never feels like a genuine portrayal, it feels like a token issue you felt you had to address before moving on to your gay porn. And if that happens in every single slash fic you ever right, you don’t get any benefit of the doubt. I’m just going to assume you’re ignorant, prejudiced, and don’t bother considering the thoughts and feelings of the queer community.
Because the fact is, gay people don’t exist so straight cis girls can get off on male gay sex. (And because undoubtably some of you don’t know what “cis” means, it means not transgender; your gender matches up with your biological sex.) And as for everyone else who isn’t heterosexual, they actually do exist, whether they’re bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer, or anything else. So stop ignoring us because you don’t care, or you’re uncomfortable with it, or homosexuality is only okay in the context of pretend gay sex for you to masturbate to. Because most slash fic is written by straight, cis girls for other straight, cis girls, the same way that most lesbian porn is made by straight cis men, for straight cis men.
Now we’re back to the point of why you should address sexual orientation in your slash fic. And as I mentioned, it’s because seeing that affirmation, seeing a testimony that we do exist, is huge. And I know you’re showing it, but sometimes that’s not enough, especially when some authors seem to avoid having their characters actually identify as gay like the plague. The other day, I was reading a fic, and to my tremendous surprise, one of the characters actually took a paragraph to google bisexuality. It wasn’t this big thing, but he called himself bisexual and he actually did the research to learn more about himself, and later he comes out as bi to a couple people with those words, actually saying it, and that made such a big difference. And it probably took ten minutes of the author’s time.
It’s not hard, and acknowledging sexual orientation can make such a difference to people who are reading it. It helps affirm the experiences of queer people, and it helps educate heterosexual, cisgender people. It can even make your story better. This hurts no one (unless you’re a homophobe). So do it right. Acknowledge that we exist, and acknowledge that our struggles exist. Please mention sexual orientation, because it really shows when none of you ever do.
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I don’t care about what you have between your legs, or what gender you were assigned at birth, or any label or category you or someone else put you in. If I like you, I like you. If I don’t, I don’t.
Simple as that.
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50 Shades of Gray critics slam bondage stereotypes
“The virginal Anastasia finds the world of handcuffs and leather whips both alarming and arousing. She soon learns, however, that Christian’s predilection for bondage and spanking is a consequence of being sexually abused as an adolescent.
While the books are fiction, this explanation plays into stereotypical attitudes toward the alternative sex lifestyle, says Tristan Taormino, a U.S.-based sex educator and author of The Ultimate Guide to Kink.
‘There is an assumption that the reason he’s kinky is because he is damaged, because he had a rough childhood,’ she says.
‘There’s this assumption that there’s this one-to-one correspondence, which in real life there’s isn’t.’”—Andre Mayer, CBC News
(via ashleyatcleis)
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oo1. boobs are really, really awesome. like seriously. they’re the most universally appealing body part, and no one’s going to fault you for liking them. i totally get that you’re turned on by them! but let’s get something straight. awesome boobs are not an invitation.
sometimes it’s hot out and i don’t feel like having extra clothing on just so you won’t check me out. or sometimes, maybe i am in the mood to show off! but even then, my boobs aren’t an automatic “yes.” no matter how slutty you think i look, no matter how turned on you might be, an awesome rack is not a substitute for consent.
oo2. like most people around the world, i enjoy having fun! and sometimes, that fun might involve drinking, or the use of other mind-altering substances. rules are a little different when you’re drunk. you can act sillier and tell stupid jokes and maybe even get away with dancing on the table!
but you know what you can’t get away with? not establishing consent! no matter how drunk you are, i am, or we all are, boundaries still exist. you still have to make sure that your potential bedmate is cool with bumping uglies, no matter if you’ve been together three years or known each other’s names for three minutes. and use whatever judgment you have left: if they’re too far under the influence to drive home, they’re probably too far under the influence to give true consent.
oo3. society seems to really have a thing about people who are on the larger side. there’s so much body shaming in today’s world, and a lot of it is just totally accepted. you may think that since i am fat, i’m desperate for any vague sign of affection, so i’ll be okay with you doing whatever you want to me. i really hate to disappoint, but if you think that i’m a loser who should feel lucky to be touched, you’re going to have a bad time.
no one is lucky to get raped. no one is lucky to face unwanted sexual advances. no one is lucky to be harassed. the rules don’t change when someone’s above a size twelve.
oo4. it’s pretty obvious that most people in the world enjoy sex, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. i for one am totally into sex! if i could have sex all day, i totally would. you know how there’s that stupid rumor that men think about sex every seven seconds? well it’s not stupid, because i totally think about sex that often.
however, that doesn’t mean that i’m down to fuck anyone any time. you may have heard that i’ll sleep with anyone. maybe i slept with your friend. hell, maybe we even slept together once! but no matter what, you’ve still got to get that “yes.” i enjoy sex with respectful partners who understand boundaries. i don’t enjoy being degraded, pressured, or having assumptions made about me. most people don’t, so why press your luck?
oo5. and speaking of assumptions… sexuality is hugely complex. you wouldn’t want your preferences to be generalized, so don’t do it to anyone else! i’ve slept with girls; that does not mean i will sleep with all girls. i’ve been tied up; that does not mean you can tie me up. i’ve had threesomes; that does not mean that i will have a threesome with you and your buddy.
oo6. you are not owed sex. there, i said it. no matter what you do for me, there is no situation i can think of where i owe you sex. if you take me out for dinner, or help me move in to a new apartment, or proofread my angry letter to urban outfitters, i’ll be really grateful! i might make bake you something, or buy you a twelve-pack of steel reserve. and if we’re already close, it might make me fall incredibly in love with you and we could end up fucking on the living room floor, don’t get me wrong!
i just won’t owe that to you. when you do something nice for someone, you’re doing it out of the goodness of your own heart. if you’re doing it expecting something in return, you’re not doing something nice. you’re trying to perform an underhanded deal. if you want to arrange for me to owe you sex, let me know outright, so i can know that you’re not a decent person at all, just a scummy scum scum who gets off on forcing people into uncomfortable situations.
oo7. and here’s the big one. you’ve probably heard “no means no” a million times, and we all like to think we’re the kind of person who, if our partner said no, we’d stop right away. but consent is more than not being told no. it’s being told yes. enthusiastically.
if your partner isn’t saying no, but also isn’t saying yes, take a step back and examine the situation. this boils down to being a moral human being. sure, if your partner doesn’t say no, it might be more difficult for you to get convicted of rape. but are you the kind of person that thinks it’s okay to take advantage of someone on a technicality? please don’t be.
it’s up to you to make sure that your partner feels comfortable, safe, and okay, and it’s up to you to take a step back if they don’t. be the responsible person, because the only person who can prevent rape is YOU.
CONSENT MEANS BEING TOLD YES ENTHUSIASTICALLY.
important:
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➜This is how thoroughly we women have been sexualized, that we cannot make the kind of noises that come with physical exertion without it being associated with sex. In fact, everything about our bodies has been sexualized in one way or another. If we groan during sport or we breast-feed in public, we are criticized for making people think about sex. If we talk openly about things like menstruation and poop and farts, then we are criticized for making people not want to think about sex.
Think about what it means to be ladylike and all of the adjectives that go along with it: elegant, cultured, classy, sophisticated. To be successful at being feminine means being successful at being private, keeping your body’s natural functions behind closed doors and never letting anyone know they exist. It means to be constrained, that you do not let your legs spread wide in public transportation and you do not make noises that are harsh on the ears. It means presenting a polished, shiny surface to the world at all times, one that allows others to project whatever they wish onto you while never showing too much of your true self. -
➜Gamers get hella uncomfortable over male sexuality too. Can you imagine a “good male character who just happens to be wearing sexually exploitative outfits because he’s ok with his masculinity?” Constantly has the camera pan lovingly over his asscrack and firm glutes, and big ole dangly ballsack that is totes sweaty from all this MMA and soldiering. Time to hit the showers, and do you, personally, think it’s ok to have a long slow pan up the dude’s package (indiscreetly hidden in a jock of course), to his chiseled physique and erect nipples (pierced). He’s not even a Bond-esque confident man, he’s basically a weird Bowie caricature that’s constantly having near-dickslips in every single cinematic as the completely nonsexualized female characters do their business of being gruff and shooting dudes and advancing the plot. Finally, at the end he falls in love (out of nowhere) and/or is killed by the big baddie.
a forum post I read recently, trying to give a solid example of what ‘male objectification in gaming ’ would actually look like if it was anything equivalent to current female objectification in gaming. (via nothingbutsurrender)
I think I reblogged this before, but I’m just gonna reblog it again.
(via hobbitdragon)
So fantastically accurate.
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