Queer Reading (of) Whatever

boygrrrlrevolution:

I wear a lot of fucking makeup. I don’t wear it everyday, but I wear it at least several times a week. When I wear makeup, it’s loud and it stands out.  A typical makeup look for me is a champagne colored eyeshadow look, dramatically winged out black eyeliner and probably a dark wine colored lipstick. Im pretty awesome with makeup actually. I can do leopard print, rainbows, all sorts of wild things. While being a makeup artist isn’t my main aspiration life, I’ve considered working with makeup as an option that would help me pay for college.  One may think that it’s weird that a feminist would be into something so often acossciated with harmful cultural beauty standards. Here’s something weirder- I feel brave right now. Why? I’ve always felt so ashamed of my love of makeup. I refrain from talking about it with friends or people I meet because I feel like talking about somehow diminishes my interests in other supposedly more intellectual things such as music or literature or social politics, especially feminism. This shame seems justified when people say things like:

•  ”Why do you wear so much makeup?”
• “You wear too much makeup.”
•  ”You look prettier with more natural makeup on”
•  ”You look prettier without makeup” (which almost always really means the same thing as the one just above this)
• “It’s better if people see how beautiful you are, not how beautiful your makeup is”

   People assume that my makeup is a crutch. They assume that I must be insecure and uncomfortable with my appearance because I wear it. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m completely cool with how I look naturally. I go without makeup a lot too, but people never notice that. I wear makeup because

• I’m a very creative person and makeup serves as another creative outlet for me
• It gives me a feeling of ownership over my idenity
• It makes me feel really happy

I do not wear makeup because

• I’m insecure and I feel ugly
• I want to fit with the prevailing patriarchial beauty standards

This leads me to another remark thats been thrown at me:

• “If you don’t shave, why do you wear makeup?”
• Or vice versa-“if you wear makeup, why don’t you shave?’

Well, shaving isn’t fun. I hate doing it. It doesn’t make me happy. It’s so simple. Yet many people don’t get it. They go right up to me and tell me how my face, my legs and my arm pits should look and they think it is an okay thing to do simply because I’m a girl. The idea that a woman should look like whatever the fuck she wants to look like is a radical notion to them. These people are often nice and well-meaning. They may even think they’re complimenting me. Honestly, I’d much rather be complimented on how pretty my makeup looks than how pretty I look. I’d rather be complimented on something that is a skill or an accomplishment rather than a physical trait I as born with and had no control over.

Yeah, you read that right. I just called being good at makeup a skill and an accomplishment. Makeup is seen as a frivolous, vapid and materialistic interest and like many hobbies, it indeed can be. However, makeup is seen as a frivolous, vapid and materialistic interest becauses it seens as a women’s interest. It’s a perception that is deeply rooted in misogyny. My shame about my interest in makeup stems from internalized misogyny. Furthermore, the idea of natural beauty thats so often pitched to me , the idea that women  should wear makeup to look like don’t need makeup, is a reflection of how this patriarchial culture mainly values women for their physical beauty. I’m sick of being judged by my physical appearance and my stereotypically feminine interests. I want to accepted and valued for who I am. I want the decisions I make about my own appearance to be respected. Is that really too much to ask?

Thank you for articulating something I’ve been feeling for quite some time. I am definitely not an artist with makeup, but those few times a year I find the time to sit down with my sparkly Urban Decay palette, Almay eyeliner and lovely organic brushes, I alway have to push away these feelings of guilt, like I’m betraying my queerness. It’s feels so hard to defend. In fact, I take advantage of the holidays when I see my conservative relatives as a time to use makeup and not be questioned about it. I want to be complimented on how well I did my makeup, and how it enhances my beauty. I know its for more than fitting in because

Read More